Spanks!
Whoo! Crazy run at the Tree Bar! Owww!!! What a chaotic finish too, if you saw it.

Thanks to the venue: Andyman's Treehouse, Quinn Fallon, Duff, Joe Peppercorn

Performers (order of appearance): Oxymoronatron, Ocean Ghosts, Zachery Allan Starkey, Marvin the Robot, Andrew Graham, Vaudeville, Johnny La Rock & Mush Mouth, Fat Girls By the Snack Table, Trapper John, Debaser, more Fat Girls and J Rhodes on his own. Thanks also to Joseph Miller...where's my check?!

Thank you to all who came out, it was a wet and wild month. Many of you know I'm gonna take 2-3 months off from performing, to write new stuff and fuel up. In the coming year I will hopefully be doing some regional touring, so yeah...in the meantime, I will see you around town!!!

Love,
EG

XXX << Lab Sex >> XXX
The rumors (that you've never heard) are true; I've been added to the lineup of Lab X Records out of Dayton.

Thanks to Robot X5, Oxymoronatron, and most of all, YOU. Yes...YOU. Sex with YOU. SEX SEX SEX!!!

SEX!!!

www.labxrecords.com

R.I.P. UDO


R.I .P. UDO

The rumors are true, the UDO (spinning light thing) was destroyed last night at Andyman's, but it went out in true rock and roll glory.

During "Watching the Cosby Show," Joe Peppercorn (Whiles Frontman/Door Guy) and I were wrestling aroung, fueled by our rage for the Cos', and fell on top of a chair and then on top of the UDO, crushing it under our weight. Mary Alice screamed, and Bryan from Debaser said "Oh Shit!" or something like that. It was really sad, the damn thing was twitching on the ground, almost humping it in it's final seconds of existence.

There was a major upside; everyone who was there said it looked fucking awesome when it happened. It felt fucking awesome too, and much less expensive and cliche than smashing a guitar. I am bummed though, we have had that thing from the beginning. We do plan to get a new one or a facsimile thereof, hopefully before next Tuesday's finale bash.

R.I.P. UDO

"That horrible act..."
Funny story of what happened an a hour ago...

For those who don't know, my "job" is guarding the art gallery on the OSU campus, sharing shifts with other GUARDZ, etc.

Flash back to Monday, when myself and a few others signed a birthday card, many signed who didn't know the dude, just for fun. I wrote this long, heartfelt, personal message, and signed it "Electric Grandmother."

Back to this Wednesday morning; the guy, who I had just met minutes prior, went upstairs in the Art Department and came back down to the gallery with his card. (He knew the two other dudes in the gallery, and he'd just met me).

"Electric Grandmother?" he says. "Isn't that that one horrible solo act?"

I grinned, as my two gallery buddies gasped.

"Really, you don't like him?" I say.

He turns to me to tell me his thoughts on the matter, and almost instantaneously: "That's you, isn't it..."

I can deal with this. I know that for every 10 people who love what I do, there's one who thinks I'm a total fuckface. I know that especially with the kind of act I do, this is inevitable. (All things considered, that's not a bad ration, and I love you all for it). It was his odd back pedaling that kind of got to me...

"Yeah, I saw you at the High Five. What's the matter with you?"

I'm still laughing at this point, and my gallery buddy Andrew Graham (who's a really talented musician, who I had scheduled at Andyman's initially; I found out he's only 19 the other day, so unforunately he can't do it now), told him that he was being really uncool. I understood though; he got busted, and he was trying to balance both not offending me and standing by what he couldn't erase.

I actually felt bad for the dude at first, it's kind of a fucked up situation. He was just speaking his mind, and he had no idea the subject of his criticism was standing right in front of him. And I can take it; I like to think I'm kind of still a bit old school that way, and that it's fine to call out what you don't like.

It got weird. My two buddies left for the day minutes later, and the dude was outside on the phone. He came back in after his call, apparently to continue to apologize in his own weird way.

"So yeah, what did you think was so horrible?" I honestly ask.

"I dunno," he replies, "It was just weird. I felt like I was on an acid trip. You have all those songs about kids' shows, and, I dunno. I though you were kind of 'trying' to be horrible, ya know?"

I'm confused, but I know what he means. Obviously, most artists aren't trying to be "horrible," even if their act is designed to piss you off. In an artists' mind, what they're doing is valid in their own right. (Did I mention I was an artist?) So yes, my act is a bit absurd and uncoventional, and it's supposed to be. I can only assume this is what he meant. But, the way he phrased it kind of bothered me.

At the time, in my confusion, I just kept asking, "Well, fine, what was so horrible?"

He's trying, but moments later: "Um, I can see you're upset. I'm just going to leave now." Ane he quickly fled the scene.

Like I said, I understand that some people don't like me. It was just kind of intense to see it on display right in front of you. At the same time, that poor bastard!

I only have one thing to say to him in retrospect: Is your sticker on Gretchen Tepper's guitar???!!! Don't think so pal!!!

Love,

EG

Grandma Sex
Perhaps this is the new beginning of the Poop Log...a new era.

So someone keeps hitting my page doing a search for "Grandma Sex." Well it's here, but maybe not exactly in the way you were looking for. The sex I offer is more conceptual, more intrinsic, and is more about tingling your inner loins than your...well, I'm gonna go out on a limb, and just assume that it's a man doing these searches. So you know what I'm saying. There is definitely "Grandma Sex" here; but it will take some searching for you to fully understand it.

Grandma...

SEX

Wow
It's amazing how fast a month goes by when you're not keeping a journal, or poop log, as the case may be.

Holy Shit!
I was just looking at old entries; I used to write a lot! It's just so goddamn time consuming though. I'd rather waste time surfing the same three sites I go to.

C'mon baby, you can do it...write...people care...a WHOLE lot!

Corporate Logs Still Suck
It sure does...what you have to realize is that I'm lazy. I looked at Le Tigre's tour diaries recently, and they're not so lazy. Even if they're touring with Beck, who is a Scientologist now. Guess he has been for a while now. Dumbass.

I've got some exciting shows coming up, hope to see some of you around the ol' town. Yep.

Hey, I feel kind of inspired right now! That always happens when I read somebody's blog/diary etc. After I read Ben Weasel's Punk is a Four Letter Word collection of essays, I wrote like a motherfucker.

Also, my friends Fat Girls by the Snack Table, they religiously keep a hilarious diary of random chaos. You should check it out, it's way better than this "once every two months if you're lucky" bullshit.

Peace in the middle east.

Still Suck
I still suck at keeping a log.

Constipated
Obviously I suck major ass at keeping a log.

Hope to see everyone on the 11th!!!

Pee Sells
I worked on the rough mixes of the new album today (the 8th), with my bud/producer Jose, in his apartment for about five hours. After going into Supraphonic for mastering and cross-fading, we'll be good to go! Things went smoothly, and I'm very happy with the results so far.

Bourboned Up
(I'm wayyyyyy behind here)

CAFE BOURBON ST.
MARCH 25th
w/ JOHNNY LA ROCK & MUSH MOUTH, SUBROC

I invited the La Rock crew down to do this ill-timed show; ill-timed because of Spring Break for OSU, many other shows in the 'bus that night, combined with the fact that I had already made everyone promise to come to my April 1st show. So essentially, no one came.

BUT, overall I had a splendid time, and so did the La Rock crew. Subroc impressed the thousands with his video-game tunes (actually, despite the sparse attendance, he did get good feedback from the few who were there, and gave away a few CDs. Which leads to to this brief tangent:

After that night, I decided I would never again give away CDs for nothing. I'm not talking about demos or promos, I'm talking about my full-length LPs that I put my heart, soul, and money into. This is a matter of me having self-respect for ME, nothing else. It's one thing if I give it to a friend or musical colleague who I know will appreciate it; but if you're a stranger to me, and I give you my CD for nothing, you're gonna treat it like it's nothing. That's how it goes for everyone.
Why'd I do it that night? I felt desperate, cuz nobody came. SO, I gave away my CD, without a sleeve or song titles, to a few drunk kids...pathetic. Never again my friends, and I would encourage Subroc and JLR/MM to never again give away their cool shit for free. Do I feel that people should be so honored to pay for my CD? Of fucking-course not! It's a matter of my own self-respect. How many times have you been given a free CD, which you then toss? I just don't want that to happen to me anymore...and trust me, it has. I used to "sell" my CDs on Ebay for a penny, to people who were in the habit of purchasing things for under 25 cents (got me)? Anywayyyyy...sorry about that, hope you're still reading...

Johnny La Rock and Mush Mouth tore it up next, with some MC action and some beat action. All night, the crowd clamored for "Speak Our Minds," and man, did the two of us ever get it. I felt really bad watching the La Rock crew with no crowd, cuz they deserve a big one. They're all hella-talented, and some of the nicest guys I've ever met.

Leroy of Ocean Ghosts, who often works the door at the venue, took off before I went on, cuz well, there was nothing to be had. Completely understandable, except for one hitch...no cover for the rest of the night? ENTER THE DRUNKEN FRAT BOYS!!! Which only PROVES my point about the CDs for free, the SAME rule applies. If you gotta pay a cover, you may think twice about paying to see the bands, if you just came to drink; very few people pay a cover to harass you on stage. I never got heckled so much in my life (well, besides middle school). There were plenty of "YOU SUCK(S)!" and "SHUT THE FUCK UP(S)!" for these non-sitcom-core fans. At the end of my set, I flipped them off (no retaliation, thankfully) and slinked off the stage. I was talking to JLR afterwords, and we were discussing about how we're both really sensitive people, and that stuff can get to us. It sure pissed me off, but hey, it's all part of the biz, right gang? Eh?

Well fuck it then, party at my pad! The whole gang came back to our house to pound girl drinks and wax philosophically. Pound we did! It was a great time, the best after party since JLR and MM played the keyboard for me in the parking lot of the Hi-Fi.
Around 7AM, we went to pound some McGriddles and hash browns, which later made hash browns come out of my butt (sorry, I get dizzy when typing long blog entries). Fun times with rad companions, and I hope we can do it all again one day soon, with a better crowd.

Disrupting Things
Taken from a Ray Bradbury message board:

"Hello all! I am a new teacher, teaching grade 11 core english at the academic level in ontario. One of my topics includes the electric grandmother as a possible resource. every time i try to look up something on the internet about it, some band with the same name comes up. can anyone lead me to a good site that gives me info on the film, poems or stories that may be connected to it, or even some hints on how to use the film as a teaching tool."

I'm so rad!

Anyhoo, this coming week I'll have some entries about the last three shows, including tonight at Supraphonic Studios.

Later Gators

Make Money Money
All right, so I'm working again, at a semi-real job, making money for the bills/album this summer.

I'm pumped for the next two shows, Johnny La Rock & Mush Mouth at Bourbon St., and then Andyman's with Infinite Number of Sounds, Scotty Boombox, & Ocean Ghosts.

We're probably looking at sparse attendance at Bourbon Street, as I already made everyone commit to Andyman's a while ago. Ya don't wanna overdose on Grandma......yes you do.

Circle Gets The Squares
I had a blast last night with my boys The Squares, we got 'em sent off on their tour of Russia, or something. Check 'em on the link page! They'll rock your shirt.

Supermercado was there, doing an enjoyable acoustic cover set, including "Alex Chilton" by The Replacements. Turns out I did a 2002 show at Little Brother's with Lee of said band, when I was doing that Upchuck Berry thang. Small world, Merle.